I’m not going to lie, parenting has been kicking my butt lately. Every time I think I have a good handle on things, something shifts and I struggle with the uncertainty ahead. I suppose this is how most parents feel, at least some of the time. Our latest struggle has been dealing with Micah’s night terrors. I want to share a little bit about them, because I honestly had no clue what a night terror was until a couple of months ago. If you have a little one (or older child) with night terrors, you have my sympathy. These are the parts of parenting I had no idea existed prior to having my own kids, and it proves once again that parenting isn’t always easy.
Before I get into the night terrors themselves, I want to talk a little bit about Micah and his personality. I call Micah our sunshine and “You Are My Sunshine” has been the song we have always sung before bed. Since the day he was born he has been smiling. He is a very active 2 year old, but even when he falls, he gets up with a smile and continues on. He has a bit of the terrible twos like any other toddler, but he just isn’t one to throw a tantrum. If he is upset or crying, something is wrong. Micah has some bladder and kidney development issues and we are constantly on watch for irregular behavior that might indicate a UTI. Most would never know he has any health issues, but we have to keep a close watch. Micah also has acid reflux and has never been a very good sleeper.
When Micah had his first night terror we were in a hotel. He was just over 1 year old and I seriously thought we were going to be asked to leave because our child had been screaming bloody murder for 15 minutes in the middle of the night. We did everything we could to calm him, but nothing worked until he just stopped screaming and fell asleep. By the time he was back asleep we were both sweating and worried something was seriously wrong. Was he teething? Did he have a UTI? Did he get stung or bit? Was he afraid because he woke up with his arm or leg asleep? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
The second time it happened we were camping. Micah woke up screaming and Ryan brought him to our bed and held him. Micah slapped Ryan in the face. Now, if you have ever met Micah, you are probably shocked. So was Ryan. Our happy, sunshine 1 year old was suddenly a crazy lunatic. He was screaming, kicking, and hitting. We looked up the closest emergency room and started packing our things. After about 10 minutes we gave him Tylenol, thinking maybe he was having teething or growing pains. He stopped screaming and went straight to sleep.
These types of nights happened sporadically over the next several months, especially when we were away from home. It seemed like every time we were away from home we were thinking about bringing him to the ER because he woke up screaming in pain. Tylenol and a sippy of water always seemed to get him back to sleep after 10-15 minutes of screaming. We still had no idea what a night terror even was.
Around the time Micah turned 18 months he started having these episodes at home, and more often. We Googled so many things about toddler tantrums and took all of the advice. Some kids wake up angry when their blood sugar is low, so we fed him closer to bed time. Micah’s nephrologist recommended keeping water near his crib in case he was waking up thirsty, so we started to keep a sippy by the bed. I seriously started to think maybe he was just being a stinker. They started to happen more often and even during nap time.
Then one night I found an article and realized Micah was having night terrors. It wasn’t a tantrum at all. We were looking at all of these things about tantrums and had no idea he is actually 100% asleep during these episodes. He has all of the symptoms and signs.
- Screaming
- Thrashing
- Kicking and/or Hitting
- Wide Eyes
- Intense Fear
- Sweating
- Aggression
- Sudden Calming Upon Awakening
- Falling Back Asleep Easily After the Episode
Micah always had his eyes wide open and it never occurred to us that he was still asleep. He does not let us touch him, and he tries to get away from us or shows aggression towards us if we do. He screams through the entire episode and kicks his legs. These night terrors last about 15 minutes, which feels like hours when you are watching your child scream as if they are in pain. Now that we know what is going on, we put him in a safe and soft place and let him work through it. You can tell the exact moment that he wakes because he looks at us in confusion and always asks for water. The screams turn to whimpers and he asks us to hold him. He has no memory of the episodes and it isn’t the same as a nightmare.
Now that we know exactly what we are dealing with (and we can cancel the exorcism) we are taking it day by day. We are currently dealing with these episodes 2-3 times a week and even our 3 year old, Harrison, understands what is happening now. We make sure Micah is comfortable and in a safe, soft spot and we try not to touch him. We are ready to comfort him as soon as he wakes and have water waiting. Harrison gives him all of the snuggles when he wakes.
We are currently trying to figure out exactly when the terrors happen based on when he goes to sleep. Some studies show that if you can wake him about 30 minutes before the episodes typically occur this can break up his sleep cycles enough to reduce the night terrors. After about a week it should help.
I wish we had known what night terrors were about a year ago, because we would have done a lot less panicking. As it turns out, Google doesn’t have the answers if you aren’t looking for the right thing. So, I’m here to tell you, if your kiddo wakes up screaming it could be teething, growing pains, a UTI, a bee sting, low blood sugars, hunger, thirst, overtired, random panic, or just maybe…..a night terror. It’s perfectly OK if it takes you a year to solve the mystery (at least I hope it is). Hang in there. Parenting is tough, but it is so worth it.
